I wonder

It's amazing (may not be the right word) how much money rules our lives. Right now I am about to receive my last pay check until I decide to work again. I strongly believe in staying home with my son, but I have had a few sleepless nights wondering if this is the right thing.

David and I, for the 1st time since we have left our families, are finally stable financially, but then I go and quit my job to be a stay at home mom. Am I being selfish wanting to stay home with him? Is it the right thing to do? I guess we will see...

I grew up in a family that was always money conscious and I gained that. This is the 1st time since I was 14 years old that I will not be bringing money in. In many ways I feel irresponsible. Then I think "what is best for our son?"

Everyone has a different opinion on this....that's why it is so hard. I have prayed on a constant basis about this and I hope that I am listening to God in the right way and not just listening to my selfish ways.

On another note- I have always wanted to adopt and my mom was the one that convinced me to have one of my own (which is the best advice she has given me) As I am typing this Hunter is playing with his pacifier and laughing. He is the cutest thing.

I wish money was not the issue, but I have heard that it can cost anywhere between $10,000 and $20,000 to adopt. With all bills and from start to finish, Hunter's birth cost us maybe $500 at the most. Don't tell me that money isn't an issue now :).

I would love to bring a child into a loving family that may not get the chance, but now that I am staying home- there seems to be little hope in adopting. People do it all the time and I wonder how they can afford it. Is it worth putting your family in more debt? Or is it better to just have one of your own?

It is a crazy world we live in.